Diary of the Red Queen, Mama & Lunatic
Diary of the Red Queen, Mama & Lunatic
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2004-07-01 - 1:56 p.m. ME: (standard greeting) HER: I need a ticket. ME: ...For what purpose? HER: My machine. ME: ...And what is wrong with it? HER: It's just running buggy. ME: (picturing a computer running away with a baby buggy)...Are there any particular symptoms? HER: Yes. ME: ...What are they, please? HER: It's slow. ME: It's slow. OK. (fine, whatever, I don't feel like troubleshooting with this $(*#$&$%) May I have your employee number please? HER: G94156. ME: (tries to look up that number) I'm sorry, I am not finding anyone under that badge number. Do you have a six-digit number that's all numerals, no letters? HER: I'M A CONTRACTOR! ME: (My condolences, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?) OK, or is there any other way I might look you up? HER: (Shouting) G! 9! 4! 1! 5! 6! ME: (still calm) Yes, I actually got that, but as I said, I was unable to find anyone under that badge number. HER: Well, maybe under my social? ME: OK, may I have the last 6 digits please? HER: 4135. ME: I'm sorry; might I get the last six digits, please? HER: 560244135. ME: OK, so... 244135? (checks, finds idiot that way) And what is the tag number on the computer? HER: (gives tag number) ME: And the computer's location? HER: Why? ME: So that someone can fix it? HER: (gives location) ME: And what phone number can you be reached at? HER: (gives phone number) ME: And was there anything else I can do for you? (gritting teeth at this point) HER: (*click*)
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