The Chessboard | Diary of the Red Queen, Mama & Lunatic

2002-07-22 - 8:53 a.m.

I feel mildly queasy. I always feel vaguely ill when I get confirmation of bad news that I've been suspecting for a long time. It's never pleasant, but naturally people believe that the longer they keep this news from me the better, when in fact that only makes it worse.

If only they'd have the fucking courage to make a clean break of things without all the lying.

If only they hadn't been using me.

If only they'd cared.

Well, knowing now is better than never knowing, I guess.

I watched Ever After with Will last night and a section of that seems particularly appropriate today.

DANIELLE: I have done everything you have ever asked me to do and still you deny me the only thing I ever wanted! BARONESS: Really? And what was that? DANIELLE: ...Was there a time, even in its smallest measure, that you loved me at all? BARONESS: How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe?

And with that, Danielle nods slowly, and turns away, realizing it's better to know now than later, but acknowledging that it really does hurt A LOT.

Megan the Red Queen

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